All funerals must come to an end one day, no matter how lavish.
I looked upon my own from a distance, and the feeling is most decidedly curious. To see how people cared for you when you were alive, to hear their abstracted sobbing, to feel the mostly real grief unashamedly flowing out of their souls.
Then the priest raised his hands, and I could only listen, spellbound.
To my own requiem.
There was no high pianissimo soprano, no angel's choir. Only a doloroso réquiem, so full of grief they seemed to be singing my utter life story. An ordinary gathering of ordinary people singing their souls out to send mine off.
Suddenly what people think of me doesn't matter anymore.
Suddenly to die for angst doesn't really seem worthwhile.
Suddenly I wished to return and tell them to move on.
Like how I was about to.

and if I die before I wake,
I pray to the Lord my soul to take

I felt His hand pass across my face, and somewhere far away, I heard a chorus die down. ¶ 3:21 PM

If I were to mention what exactly I would like to do to the psychophantic barbers in the idiotic barber shop at Bishan st 11 that calls itself "Donald Duck Barber Shop", it would take days.
I promise.
As you can see, I am in a pissed state. A VERY pissed state. (And I shouldn't be, considering I am Buddhist and supposed to let go of all emotions. In. Out. In. Out. Zen.)
&%@$&%&$%(* BARBERS.
Why do they NOT understand "trim the sides and don't touch the fringe"? This time, I didn't even use the infamous and extremely risky phrase "cut short short" which netted me a Toh-style haircut two years back. SIGHHH.
So don't mention the word hair in front of me. I might just go berserk from the lack of it. ¶ 8:43 PM

this is the point of no return; ¶ 9:36 PM

OHMIGOSHNESS.
S.H.EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
It's absolutely exhilarating. Intoxicating. Totally!
Well when Phang and I filed into the Indoor Stadium we saw Kellie and Melly! They were sitting diagonally from us haha. Bought a lightstick from Kellie at $2.50 (AHH RIPOFF) cos had forgotten to buy outside. It turned out to be an incredible asset.
Waiting was okayyy. Waited for about half an hour while the sound system blared with Hou Niao playing 6 times in a row, then punctuated by Tong Kuai and the occasional Bie Shuo Dui Bu Qi. How lovely.
Phang and I amused ourselves by identifying the three old men in front of us as Sex Pervert, Ham Chi and Ediot. They were really quite wetblanketish =(.
Then it started, and they rose out of trapdoors on the floor (the stage's a group of three raised circles)in the Egyptian costumes that were for Bo Si Mao! It was almost exactly like the VCD, and after that was I.O.I.O. I.O.I.O was nice! Everybody got to sing that I.O.I.O part, and I think South was the loudest. Humphf HamChi wasn't singing at all! Phang and I worried that the whole thing would be a smaller imitation of the Taipei concert.
Then they stripped down to the silver costume thing, and went into the Yuan Fang, and Re Dai Yu Lin. Oh HOW SWEET. In Re Dai Yu Lin they rose on the petal things that because of the lighting looked like lilypads!
Then it was Ba Fen Zhong De Re Wu with Watch Me Shine and stuffage. Oh, and it was totally amusing because in Gei Wo Duo Yi Dian the mikes failed but they covered it up real well and said sth about our spirit that had overrode them! AHH how sweet <3. Gahhh everything's a whole exhilarating blur now.
I'll just talk about the songs I remember, although all of them were totally wonderful!
And they sang Ta Hai Shi Bu Dong and I just felt so sad although I never did with the cd version. There's a kind of magic with live singing I suppose.
And they screened a video of Qiang Wei Zhi Lian (The Rose) when they sang Hua Dou Kai Hao Le! Haha never knew Tao Zhe wrote Lor Da Hor... it seems that what songs they sang that night were immortalized. I originally didn't like Lor Da Hor and An Quan Gan, but now I'm in love with them. An Quan Gan was amusing because of the male dancers. The atmosphere is like totally intoxicating!
And they had a little video about S.H.E's Di Yi Ci in everything, and you can really tell they've come a long, long way! Then they started singing Lian Ren Wei Man and that was nice too!
GAHH the whole sequence is screwed but heck. It's just totally wonderful!
Then they rose up in sequence (after a costume change). First was Hebe in a red Oriental fluffy gown with large embroidered flowers and she carried a Japanese umbrella. She sang Ai Qing Hai Yang. Then came Selina in a flowy geisha-ish gown, and she sang Believe. Finally was Ella in this short Oriental dress that didn't really suit her, but everything became bliss when she started singing Chang Xiang Si! Then they all stripped down to the jungle thing and sang Shi Mian Mai Fu. AHH the Long Men Ke Zhan is still so amusing.
Oh gah I can't remember any more songs in the jungle suits, so I shall jump to the angelwhite costumes part.
The male angel came out, and danced to Swan Lake, then went down again and Remember started! It was totally nice as usual, and they also sang favorites like Ai Ne. After a while it was Mei Li Xin Shi Jie, and they had the marvelous costumes, the Jack In The Box and the balloons that fell out of the sky. And then all the dancers took out their big hands and they did Beauty Up My Life, which was so totally cute! Oh, somewhere around here there was Only Lonely, which was really nice because we all did the hand-shaking thing with the Dalalala!
Oh, then they asked us whether we wanted them to sing new songs, then they got on the dolphins and sang Hou Niao. Gosh Hebe has gotten rid of her fear of heights! <3 how sweet.
Then they talked about the tsunamis and stuff and as a tribute they sang some friend-ly songs like Fen Xiang. Then they thanked all the crew and to thank the fans they sang Mo Li!
After Mo Li was Always On My Mind, which scared me because in the VCD it ended after Always On My Mind. They went down and the lights all went out. But then we screamed and screamed and screamed. Stupid Sex Pervert and Ham Chi left at this point. Phang wanted to leave too, and I ignored him and just screamed!
Then the drummer started getting us to shout S.H.E, S.H.E, S.H.E-! And they came back up again in black leather outfits and sang Tong Kuai. Everybody went crazy and stood up. Was afraid I was blocking the people behind me, so ran to the front aisle place. Stupid Phang didn't come with me. Then throughout Tong Kuai Melly Kellie and I were like standing and waving our lightsticks. Then OMG they sang SuperStar! Forced Phang down and we just went crazy and kept screaming and screaming. AHHH how exhilarating. Super Star will never be the same again!
Then it really ended and we had to go home =(.
Goshness it was terrific. ¶ 1:14 AM

Whee I was about to blog yesterday but then got caught halfway =(.
Haha today was interesting so I shall blog about it!
After flagraising was the PTG briefing at LT2 and I only realized after Limny (Y sounds better than E in any case) was in the middle of talking. Rushed there and heard a bit of it. Kept thinking that Janey Sim looks like Abby. Whee.
Then was Math. It was quite boring and disrupted (oh the HORROR) because (sadly, really) nobody really pays much attention to Leetk. Joseph was sitting beside me to copy my answers and I amused myself by erhemly harassing him. He had the bad fortune to be caught writing "LTKTT" on my foolscap paper when Leetk walked past.
...It stood for Lee Teck Kong Thigh Touching. Haha think Math lesson will get better soon ^^. We're learning factorisation!
Then was PE. Oh, DISASTERRR. I knew I should have done more exercise rather than just one time of measly ten rounds round the Toa Payoh Sports Complex. Ran so slowly that Junhong and Mingyang overtook (haha they have waterpolo training, so good!) me, and EnYi and Jiaguang sprinted up at the last moment.
Did height and weight afterwards. Am 48-157, which is... okay. HAHA Phang is fat! Went back to 2O and 2M and harassed some people.
Then was CS, which was uhh okay. The teacher seems generally okay (albeit the old abitboring socks pull high high hair put gel and comb to the side sort), only Joseph wasn't listening and instead trying to shock Benji (literally). Learnt about files and stuffage.
Chinese was fun! Attempted to write a compo that did NOT use wanlaijujing, but failed horribly. SIGH I depend on it far too much. Ended up with some weird story about a young blind lady and reflecting on something that totally made no sense. Lala read Jonlee's compo and it was sooo cool! The first part at least .__.
Then was Science, which was very very fun too! As with the style of my class, we veered a bit off-topic and got a half an hour discussion on genetics which was really rather interesting. HAHA stupid Joseph and Benji were changing Welcome to My Life to Welcome to XXY, and it was really hilarious once you got the innuendo. Did a worksheet thingie and apparently, I'm a dynamic learner.
Then went with Joseph and Hiippy to SIM and met Jiawei, Phang and Alvin there. I think I wasted quite a lot of money buying the student's meal, because I never did claim my second drink and second bowl of soup. We commented on how lax the security of SIM was, because you could just walk out without paying and if anyone asked, you could say you were going to the toilet. And bring your bag along for selfdefense because you might meet rapists in the toilet, but that doesn't really make sense because you can just have sex with them anyway.
Fine, I'm feeling weird today. Then we went to Poolside for ED, and Phang got all excited because the waterpolo guys were spreading their legs. I think we really can't do the ED documentary for IRS anymore, because CAP takes charge and stupid, STUPID Alvin joined Koolkids so there isn't anyone and two people (Phang and I) are really kinda stupid.
Listened to a long talk by Mr Chng on SYF, and wondered how we were EVER going to get the script out in time. Then did the character biographies thing which was really rather interesting, except that Alvin and Hiippy didn't really develop their characters very thoroughly (... Alvin for some reason modeled his after Mommy, HELLO?). Did some lame thing about Hiippy molesting Alvin, which totally didn't make sense because Hiippy, according to himself, is supposed to be a hardworking aboveboard businessman that earnt his first billion by 23. (Come everybody, let's press the period button THRICE.)
...
I really liked Darrell's character! Not just because it was thorough, but because all the events really tied up well to form a beautifully neurotically disturbed man. Him and Jerry made a nice duo, although Phang's and Karweng's were HILARIOUS. IT WAS LIKE, TOTALLY UNEXPECTED AND BEAUTIFUL.
AHAHAHAHA.
Had to leave early and go for Parent Teacher Gathering. Ate (notsonice) dinner early at 5, went for briefing and then went to our stations. Jet, Nat and I (Clemmie joined us later) were at a really ulu place - the end of Block C, near Drama Center. For the whole first half hour nobody came .__.
Amused ourself by doing stupid things like throwing rocks to erode the floor, throwing rocks to break the lamps and throwing a lump of BluTack (affectionately known as Clemmie's baby) around. Quite a lot of people passed by, including Reuben, ShiuYuan and TaiBoon.
Then people started coming in, and we got down to business. After the parents were all in the Audi/DC, went to stuff ourselves with the reception! YUMYUM the fruit tarts were nice. I ate 9. The chicken wings weren't. I ate 1. The donuts weren't. I ate 1.
=)Then it was rather late, around 8 so we just tidied up and went home. Here I am!
Yay am excited! S.H.E is tomorrow. It'll be rather exilarating to just scream the lyrics and do not care about tone, pitch, covering your voice and finding a focus and worst of all, whether "Strummin' on the old banjo" starts on the offbeat of the fourth beat or the first beat.
Haha so I must go and work on my Lit, Math and CNY OT homework now. Sucks to your ass-mar the links and the tagboard.
BYEEE. ¶ 9:19 PM

Whee as you can see, my new blog is up. No links/flooble/(should I have bgmusic?) yet, but heck. I was getting tired of the stupid eye from outoforder that I ripped from somewhere.
Oh no. Am inexplicably reminded of the wobbly advert about PIRACY IS STEALING and Hiippy proclaiming Be Hip - Honour IP. Somehow I can't imagine people that are taking out camcorders and getting ready to record to movie suddenly breaking out in tears, flinging the camcorders aside and going, "I... I... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'm not a thief, dammit. I wouldn't steal a movie!" and then offering their hands to burly policemen that then come in and handcuff them.
Oh crap I'm rambling again. Who cares! School's started and it seems quite promising so far. The Chinese project sounds fun, Mr Cheng's the same as ever, and Mrs Koh seems OKAYYY despite the three Rs (Recycle, Reuse, Reduce!) and the stupid animal thing which wasn't really of any use. WHEE I am a cannibalistic turkey!
WOW I just read through all of that and perhaps it's just err beginning-of-school-enthusiasm. At least I'm not as bad as the scary person from 1L that thinks orientation isn't over and shouts HWACHONG to get the attention of his classmate. (Well I did that too, but not so louddddd! CRINGEEE). Our juniors are okay in any case! Other than stupid Jay Seetow who thinks I'm nice to bully and pinches me and steps on my foot and whips me with his stupid waterbottle strap... Gah.
And I think I better go, so adieu for now! (Oh, and I just realized that I've been really dumb for the whole history of my blog-writing for the simple reason that I'm not supposed to be using h1 tags for all my titles. But heck! A new year is a new beginning =)). ¶ 10:23 PM

Christine

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.

When you find that, once
again, you long
to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me

We never said
our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .

Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and resigned.

Imagine me,
trying too hard to put you
from my mind.

Recall those days
look back on all those times,
think of the things
we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . .

We never said
our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but please promise me,
that sometimes you will think
o-o-o-.... of me! ¶ 10:13 AM

Dalala am frantically trying to blog now before my parents come home (Yifang, if you're reading this, hush!) because they'll make me sleep for reasons I'll ... state later!
Lala orientation was FUN. Totally! Hokay I shall start on the FIRST DAY.
FIRST DAY!
Whee woke up reallyreally early and reached sch at ... 6.05am. Was late =(! Went through briefing and got to do registration. Meaning; take attendance of group 13, pass them the survival guide and souvenir water bottle. It's quite a challenging job if you're planning to reserve two waterbottles for Jerry and yourself, but still resisting the downcast faces of the OHSOCUTE sec 1s when they discover that you pass them the red bottles that ... aren't very popular, let's just say. Apparently I was supposed to give them the cheers list too, but Jerry passed it to them later x).
Then went to auditorium for a really monotonous talk by Bala and Mr. Jeffrey Lim about... Oh this batch is really special because you guys are the pioneer people of HCI, and you must do HCI proud! You also must not throw rubbish on the floor because that will make the floor dirty!
... Oh wells. Returned to classrooms and did icebreakers and cheers with Group 13. Discovered that (oh DUH) Jerry is a far better peptalker than me! I had zero idea of how to go about doing it and just went GROUP THIRTEEN! (OY!)
Then taught them how to buy food in the canteen (!) and went for yet another session in the auditorium. Learning of schoolsong plus principal's address. Realized that Mr Hon says nearly the same thing every year (regarding the Zi Qiang Bu Xi being impossible to translate to english).
Dalalaa things got more interesting after that. Concurrent sessions with Knock Me Down and Floury Fun! Games are quite complicated la, so I won't bother to blog about it here. Suffice to say they had fun! =)
Ooh Ooh then WATERBOMB. Some people run (both ways), some people throw. I hide.
Then saw GuanYu and YaoLei with the humongous bucket full of .... flour + water bombs! Took one, but didn't have the heart to throw at anyone .__. Eventually gave it to someone who threw it at someone else. Oh damn Yifang just came in and told me to go sleep. Shall continue blogging this tomorrow (or more likely) not at all!
(Shall give in to my err. perfectly natural adolescent poor-me attitude and rant about myself before showing strong juxtaposition to bring out emphasis! ^^)
Ouch my butt hurts. I got two needles because of whatever fever (oohlala 39.2) and sinusitis (so what else is new!) and ... TADA throat inflamation (no prizes where THAT came from!). And I think I bit my lip or something and there's a big white swelling thing.
But hey, orientation rawks my socks. Love you all buddies, ot, seniors and juniors!
(Oh Yifang is REALLY getting me off now. =( BYEE!) ¶ 9:30 PM

I've discovered I am extraordinarily obsessed with the Phantom of the Opera, the main reason being Susan Kay's novel (which, I might add, is MUCH better that Gaston Leroux's original version =P). I never did like Raoul very much, so there. The second and third reasons are quite easy to guess. They're Sarah Brightman (though she's not acting in the movie but heck) and Emmy Rossum. Her screen test was quite good, although a tad strained (but hey, who am I to judge ^^).
And despite my fervour and fanaticism, I have failed to find the theme song. Gawd I suck ^^.

Christine
In sleep he sang to me,
in dreams he came
that voice which calls to me
and speaks my name
And do I dream again?
For now I find
the Phantom of the Opera
is there - inside my mind...

Erik
Sing once again with me
our strange duet
My power over you
grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me,
to glance behind,
the Phantom of the Opera
is there - inside your mind...

Dalala. But I'm not dying of the absence yet. I keep listening to Angel of Music (the Sarah Brightman version), which is quite good. I'm obsessed with the last part at any case, the reason being the large amount of semitones (yes, I'm weird).

But I shall not expound more on this fascinating topic, for the main reason that I have quite a lot of things to do. For my sanity and to prevent me from rushing off to read yet another Charmed book that Phang lent me (I don't know why I read them; they're quite trashy. Prue is a wet blanket, Piper a bimbo with no clue of handling relationships and Phoebe a rice bucket. I daresay Paige is no better either. ^^), I'm going to write another list down (it's for ME, not you, so there).
So here it is.
1. Chinese exercises.
2. Revise Jap.
3. Do Music Theory
4. Read Tian Ya Ming Yue Dao
5. Read Merchant of Venice and stop mixing up Salerio and Solanio
6. Do ACE.
7. Finish up CAP Portfolio.
8. Find someone to watch Phantom of the Opera with. ¶ 3:19 PM

离别时候，总会感到心里有些空空的。
之前知道，所谓的心里准备，是种虚拟的滋味。直到你真正体会到离别的那一刻，你看着她的背影慢慢地走开之前，胸口的那种紧紧的滋味是完全无法想象的。安慰也是没用的，因为沧海茫茫，每一个人的体验和生活经验都是不同的，没有人能真正体会到另一个人的感受。
我也只能静静地看着她离开。
四年的教诲是无法分秒中擦掉的。我也不想让她的记忆随风而去。我要让她永远活在我心中，以方程和等差数列代替离别的悲伤，让心中无悔恨。我要做的到。
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。 ¶ 9:14 PM